it’s not easy being tan

April 21, 2008 at 9:25 am 2 comments

Perhaps the most tragic thing about springtime is my inherent lack of a sun-kissed look.  I have really, really fair skin. Makeup foundation color that refers to itself as “porcelain” is not light enough for me.  If I were naming foundation for whitey-white girls like myself I would go with some more color correct name. Like, maybe “moonlight”, “phantom”, “milk”, or “paste”.


Some seasons I go the self-tanner route. Sometimes I just suffer through spring and summer with glow in the dark white skin. Last night I decided upon the former.  So I locked myself in the master bath and applied the product. Hours later my legs didn’t seem much tanner so I did another application.  I waited til everything was dry, then put on my pajamas. This morning my legs are streaks-ville. Just pitiful. The arms took to the self tanner pretty good. The legs… Well, the legs look like I fell into a mudhole. The feet? Ohhhhhhhh the feet. Hhhhhhhhh.


I used to be pretty good at applying this stuff. Hhhhhhhhhhyep, yep, yep. But this morning, I had to break out the bronzer lotion to even out my tan enough to be able to leave the house. Not more self tanner. No, instant bronzer. Stuff looks like chocolate pudding with gold dust. Isn’t that special? I really wish the gold dust wasn’t in the bronzer. I just don’t get that!   So, anyway, now I look like I’ve been to the beach for a week. I smell like a coconut. And I sparkle like diamonds.  Give me a disco satin shirt and I am stinkin’ John Travolta.  Well…or, maybe that would be Joan Travolta?  WHO wants their skin to sparkle, I ask you? Perhaps an elementary age beauty pageant contestant? WHyYYyyYy would the bronzing lotion company put ANY sparkle-inducing agent into their product? Grrrrrrrrrr! 

…Okay, the sparkle’s not that bad. I mean, I’d have taken another shower if it was really, really bad.  I mean, sure I can’t be seen in direct sunlight or I might cause a traffic accident. But, a little sparkle is probably…Hhhhhhh…okay.

Entry filed under: ranting and raving.

-21lbs wednesday morning woe is me

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. pcase  |  April 21, 2008 at 10:49 pm

    Oh, this one really hit home with me. I read it from work earlier today, but didn’t want to reply until I had some time this evening.

    I have totally been down this path.

    In years past, I was usually the “tan one”. My olive skin tanned pretty easy as a youth.

    Then, when my friend Nicole started me on regular facials, she looked at my skin CLOSE UP through her “magic mirror”, only to point out that I had years of skin damage. Granted, it wasn’t easy to see with the naked eye, it was there all the same.

    She got me started on some corrective and preventative skin care that has stayed with me.

    What did I do last year??? For the first time in three years, I went back to the tanning bed! Yikes. I wanted a no-streak tan for my daughter’s wedding that was being held on Hilton Head Island! Okay, so I was tan for the photos. WHAT DID I DO TO MY SKIN after fair warning from Nicole.

    So, I’m back on track trying to take care of my skin. I am using the absolute mildest soap available. I’ll be blogging soon on some of my favorite things – my Cetaphil Cleanser (my dermatologist recommended) is on the top of the list.

    I got a pretty big birthday that is slowly creeping up on me. I am actually excited to think I don’t look near my age. I refuse to go into the last half of my life with leather alligator skin.

    So, while I am amused that your self-tanner put you in panic mode on a Monday, I applaud you for your efforts to protect your “glow in the dark white skin”. It’s lovely on you. And it will be looking equally as lovely in 20 years! THAT is the payoff on this one!


  • 2. jeterfam6  |  April 21, 2008 at 11:24 am

    You know I am totally with you, I mean “lily white” might be a good foundation name for me! At least now I appreciate my freckles a little more than as a child b/c they add a little color speckled over my white skin. And don’t you just love when you do get out in the sun, get a little color and you are feeling good and this really olive skinned person walks up to you and suddenly you feel as if you’ve never been outside in your life……..oh well maybe our skin will age better, right??!!


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