daddy daily volume 28

August 2, 2008 at 10:12 pm 5 comments

Not a good day. No, not at all. Mama called me this morning at 8:18.  The nurses where Daddy is called early, early this morning and asked her to come right away. Daddy was angry and violent. And, someone in housekeeping had gone out a back door to empty the trash. Daddy realized the door was open, and he stood up out of his wheel chair and made a break for it. A CNA was able to get him back inside, but it took calling a maintenance man to assist them since Daddy was so bent on leaving and exhibiting a threatening nature. Mama called me sobbing and said she needed help. She also called Susan. So, Susan came by and picked me up on her way over there and we just rode together. All Daddy can think about is getting out of there. He is confused, unreasonable, exhibiting paranoia, and it’s just not good right now. I am just ready to take him outa there. Although, I realize that if we do that and he’s not satisfied just being at home, but feels like he’s got to be outside in the garden and working in the yard, and gets hostile and violent about not being allowed to that—-Well then what? But, I guess I’m just thinking LET’S TRY IT! And, we’ll cross that bridge if we come to it. I wonder if there’s not some way to do a trial period at home without losing his bed at the skilled nursing center. I think we need to talk with the social worker/director of the place and see if there are any provisions for that sort of thing. Any loopholes we could crawl through for a trial period at home before we have to officially sign him out of there. Daddy is just so desperate to go to his house! I just feel like it may make a huge differemce!

How I wish I could afford to take care of him full time myself! I would do that in a heartbeat if there were just any way at all financially to pull that off!  I just wanna go get him, throw him over my shoulder, and into the car…and peel outa there like BONNIE AND CLYDE tryin’ to out run the law!

Meanwhile I have ZERO paid time off left. I’ve burned all that up taking care of sick and hospitalized family members this year. In fact, I think my vacation bank is actually in the hole! I owe the company money! Ain’t that just great? Anyway, point is, every hour I’m not there is unpaid time off ’til January 1st, 2009 at this point.

I have the best Daddy, y’all. I cannot effectively express to you how deeply I love my father. He has a heart of gold. Would give you the shirt off his back (if he could figure out how to get the thing off that day). Picks up people on the side of the road who need a ride. Takes food, and clothing to people he finds to be in need. Always has. Takes people in and gives them a place to stay when they don’t have shelter. Rescues dogs from the pound before they turn the gas chamber on ’em.

My whole life I have been blessed to have been reared by a mentor for mercy like no one else could have better modeled. And, now that man is brain injured. And, I just want to scoop him up, cradle in my arms, rock him like a baby, and make this all better. But, I can’t. It’s the worst, most heart wrenching situation to helplessly watch.

Please, please remember him in your prayers. I pray many, many times daily that God will miraculously restore him.

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Entry filed under: daddy daily, pray for....

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5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Aprille  |  August 3, 2008 at 6:49 am

    I will definitely continue to pray Tracey. You are doing all that you can and you are doing an amazing job of it. I hope that things get better for all of you soon. I love you!
    April :0)

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  • 2. Billy McCord  |  August 3, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    My prayers are always with you and your family and JR. I realize how hopeless you must feel and helpless as well. Just know that God will provide and when you least expect it and sometimes in ways we do not expect. But them God is God and we are his helpless children. Just keep trusting becuase there will be a brighter tommorrow. Love all of YOu.

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  • 3. jeterfam6  |  August 3, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    I love you Tracey. I wish I could be closer to give you a big hug! Hang in there sister, your Daddy is getting better and I know the Lord has this all worked out for what is best for your Daddy’s care, your Mama and for you and Susan. OOOXXX

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  • 4. pcase  |  August 7, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    I’m continuing to pray for that wonderful man. What a precious soul he is!

    Oh, and HE LOVES YOU TOO! The times I would be around him back in the “Nashville days”, I SO remember the way he looked at you! So, as you wrestle with what is the right thing to do, just know that underneath all that anger and confusion you see from him these days, that man loves you more than life itself!

    Our continued thoughts and prayers are with you all!
    Pam

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  • 5. CC  |  August 21, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    This week, another friend from down state called me from her car in tears because she is having the same experiences that you are having with your dad, except that hers are with her mom who is also legally blind. She’s also a caretaker for her husband who suffers with hereditary brain tumors (not malignant) that impair his speech and walking. Things get so compllicated when the parent/child roles are reversed.

    “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” Ps. 55:22

    “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for God who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23

    May God’s unfailing love surround you, as do the prayers of your friiends and family.

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