daddy daily volume 30

August 27, 2008 at 10:13 am 2 comments

A couple of days ago, Daddy said to Mama, “Honey, you look tired.” And she said, “Well, I am a little tired, I guess.” And he said, “Well, I guess you are. You’ve been up cleaning this house all day long! Every time I see you, you’re just cleaning this house!”  So, I guess, that tells a lot. He doesn’t talk about going home much.  It would appear from the sound of his comment about Mama cleaning house all day that he may think he’s at home sometimes. Or sometimes he thinks he’s at school as the principal.  Part of what he was supposed to do yesterday in an attempt at therapy was open a clothes pin and pin it on something. He cannot open a clothes pin. He looks at it, but cannot decide which end to pinch to make it open. Cannot play checkers. Oh! God bless him! He doesn’t seem as frustrated now that he can’t do things. He doesn’t remember sometimes that he is unable to accomplish things. Like he’ll think he can walk, until he tries to get up. Mama will try to give him some verbal cues, such as: “Okay, put both your feet on the floor. Can you put your feet on the floor?” He’s looking around the room. He can’t think of what his feet are.  “Your feet.”  She’ll touch his feet, and ask again. It’s like he cannot concentrate long enough or pay attention long enough to follow through with simple things. Time is becoming less and less relevant. He doesn’t grasp the concept of how long a person visits, or how long a person has been gone.  It seems Daddy is really declining now.


There was a meeting yesterday at the skilled nursing center regarding Daddy’s progress. Consensus is that he is no longer progressing. He is not participating in physical therapy. He is unable to many things that he was able to do a few weeks back. The team there has advised that continuing to consider bringing him home is the furthest thing from logical now. There are too many things that can go wrong. He requires TOTAL care. Most everything has to be done for him.


Mama has made calls to inquire about affordable care facilities. One was full, but would have been too expensive for them to manage anyway.  Several in the area are way, way too expensive…(including where he is now.)  There are also several in our area that we have been warned about the LACK of excellence in care. So, opportunity for Daddy to be close is really obscure. The eldercare attorney advised us to look out of town for a good facility that is affordable.  We are expecting a call back from the only place locally that we haven’t heard back from yet. But, meanwhile, Mama has contacted a place in her home town where her mother stayed before she died two years ago. This place only takes on twelve residents at a time; I really like the sound of that.  It’s in a real house with real bedrooms and living room, kitchen, etc.  Which, to me— beats that institutional/hospital feeling! And best of all, Mama knows the standard of excellence in the care there, and knows the staff people from when her mother was there a couple of years ago. She has put down a deposit to hold the room. Unless we find something closer that’s better and affordable, he will move there the first of October.  Mama will be able to stay with her sisters part of each week, visit Daddy in the day time for three days in a row each week, and then drive back home.


-t.s. malone


Entry filed under: daddy daily, pray for....

a friend sent me this cute email story…enjoy! 2’x5′ poppies diptych

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Aprille  |  August 27, 2008 at 10:23 pm

    This is just so upsetting to see. I mean, I’ve said this before, but this was supposed to help him, and what a terrible decline. I’m so sorry…



  • 2. Billy McCord  |  August 27, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    Tracey, I appreciate the update. But, like you, I do not like the ways things are going. Your mother told me about the facility in her home town and it does seem like a nice place if there is such. I do know things up there are not as affordable as some places.

    You used the word declining and I expect you are 100% correct. I also suspect the decline will continue although I wish I could think differently.

    God bless you and your family.


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