click. bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

September 28, 2009 at 12:38 pm 2 comments

I am a switchboard operator/front desk receptionist. I have done this gig since I was nineteen years old. The locations have changed here and there, but suffice it to say, when it comes to IDIOTS and the things they say on the telephone when calling a business office, I feel sure I have heard it all. And, as a result of having heard it all, I must tell you, there are a few things that I have heard again and again and again through the years which drive me burzurk! I feel this definitely merits a new blog category. I have decided to entitle the new category “Click. Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” (That’s my sound effect for the noises you hear when somebody hangs up the phone on you.)  Below is just the beginning of a continuing list of things people say that make me want to hang up on them.

People who deserve to hear:    CLICK. Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! :

1. I despise it when people who refer to themselves as Mr. or Ms. when on the telephone.
For example: “Hello. This is Mrs. Williams calling to speak with your corporate financial officer.”

Really? Reallllllllllllllly? That sounds so ridiculously pretentious, people. It sounds like you’re blowing a trumpet to announce that royalty has entered a room…except there is no royalty in the room. And, there is no royalty on the phone. It’s just you. And no one thinks you’re royal. Cut the formalities, people! Anyone who introduces themselves as Mr. X or Mrs. X really should expect to be laughed at…and I mean heartily! With gusto! If you’re not a teacher on the first day of class, writing your name on the board to introduce yourselves to your students…then DON’T DO THAT! Stupid, stupid, stUUUUUuuUuUpid! Click. Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

2. I despise it when people who call and ask to speak with someone at a corporation by their first name:
Ex: “Bob, please.”

The reason we use LAST names is to HELP distinguish between all the many hundreds of thousands of people named BOB out there. Do not call a company and ask for someone by their first name. How many people named Bob or John or Michael do you suppose there may be in a company that has seventy or so people? And when the switchboard operator asks you which Bob you are referring to, for goodness’ sake, do not respond with a tone that says, “DUHHHHHHH” when you begrudgingly give Bob’s last name. What is she? Psychic? How does she know which Bob you meant?  Click. Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

3. I despise it when TELEMARKETERS who call with a list of corporate officers in front of them, and ask to speak with BOB Jones.
Everybody who knows Mr. Jones knows that he has NEVER used the name BOB. His name is Robert. Some call him Robbie. But, only manipulative, sneaky telemarketers call him Bob…and that’s because they don’t REALLY know him, but want to appear that they are BEST FRIENDS with him so that the operator will just put them right on through.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that’s so corny. Click. Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

4. I despise it when telemarketers who call offices and say, “I’m calling with Customer Service on your photo copier. Could you please look and see what the model number is for me?”
(Uhhhh, if you’re calling about the photo copier, WHY DON’T YOU HAVE THAT INFO their in your CLIENT FILES?) Click. Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Entry filed under: click. bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!. Tags: .

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Michelle Brown Jinnette  |  September 28, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    Girl, I can TOTALLY relate!!! I worked the front desk for UT’s Human Resources for many years before I left. I have heard it all!! People would call us (UT Memphis) looking for the University of Memphis; someone called wanting to know what department they needed to talk to to get a sex change operation (we didn’t do that at this particular univ.); where they could donate their body for science (we did do that in the Coll of Medicine). I also received calls like the one Susan mentioned above a lot!! Many times I wished I could have hung up on them instead of acting nice.


  • 2. Susan Moody  |  September 28, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    How about, “Is Bob in?” Gee, I don’t know. I don’t have x-ray vision and I cannot see through the seven walls between me and his office.

    Or, “I just asked for Bob, and you put me through to his voice mail.” Uh, no! I put you through to his phone and he didn’t answer; therefore, it ROLLED to voice mail. See note above.


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