“Here lies Mama. Choked to death during THE GOOD PART.”

November 9, 2009 at 5:26 pm 2 comments

So today, my chest and back are really sore and achey. I was starting to feel a little worried…and then I remembered…

LAST NIGHT I had a little episode with crackers NOT wanting to go all the way down the hatch. See, I was lying in my chaise lounge, aka Mama’s Throne, aka The Lie Down Chair, and I was slid so far down in the chair that I was pretty much sitting bent at the neck…My head and shoulders were about where I started stretching out towards the foot of the chair.  And, I was eating Triscuit Parmesan and garlic crackers. They’re delicious, but they’re dry as HAY.

Well, I didn’t have anything to drink…And didn’t realize there was a problem until it began to feel like a softball was stuck in my back. I was pretty much immobilized. I could still talk….but I KNEW I had to have something to drink FAST or there was gonna be trouble! So, I started calling for help. “Coke! I need COKE!”

Now, Terry and Jessye are standing in front of the TV watching the movie “HITCH” starring Will Smith.   Nobody responded. And my sixteen year old waves me off telling me, “This is the DANCE scene! We’ve been waiting all night for this!”

Terrific!  So, as I lay DYING… nobody really even realized it because, afterall, it was THE GOOD PART of the movie. Hhhhhhhhh.

By the time the “Q-TIP! Throw it away, throw it away” scene was through, I was in serious pain. Sort of a numb, helpless, out of the body experience. The scene finally ended, and they turned around to find me virtually in a back-bend in my chair trying to help the softball size wad of crackers move painfully down the hatch. I guess my eyes were bugged out on stems. Because, finally, AFTER THE GOOD PART, and through their laughter, I got some assistance from my family.

By this time I was pretty much frantic, of course. Terry’s all: “What’s wrong honey?”

And I’m all: CRACKERS! CRAAACKERS!!!!! They’re stuck! Get me a coke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 Okay, so I lived. It was touch and go there for awhile. But finally I was able to dissolve the wad-0-Tricuits with a Co-Coler. And then it started…the MOCKING and poking fun at poor, nearly choked to death Mama.

 No respect. No respect at all. Can’tcha just see my tombstone?

“Here lies Mama. Choked to death during THE GOOD PART.”

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Entry filed under: lucy moments.

caused a wreck prayer for dear friends

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Regina  |  November 9, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    Oh my…. that is just about the funniest thing I have ever read in my life… I so miss your funny stories…I think you should have been a comedian….. Love you girl so glad you survived!

    Like

  • 2. Elaine  |  November 10, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    Hillarious… you crack me up! lol

    Like

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