Posts filed under ‘mindless babble’

approval addiction

Over the past couple of decades, I have had to learn to toughen up about whether I have someone’s approval! I don’t want to admit I need anyone’s O.K. before I feel good about myself…. nor anyone’s pat on the back. I DEFINITELY am better at dealing with the blows life deals than I used to be. I’ll say that much. THank God! But, I would say that all of us have at least a little bit of a need for approval. Yeah?

I used to be really bothered if someone found fault with me. I guess I should say, in my subconscious mind, it still kinda haunts me. Clearly! I mean, I just told you in my last blog post that I do a lot of dreaming about disappointing people and not being good enough at WHATEVER. So, clearly I’m just as approval addicted as a friend of mine—And I told HER she needed to read the book APPROVAL ADDICTION by Joyce Meyer! Heh! CLEARLY I NEED TO READ THAT MYSELF! I don’t want to be addicted to approval. And I’ll swear up and down that I’m not. But, I guess I am addicted to at least the approval of SOME folks. I guess that’s true of everybody to a point. I mean, there are lots of people who’s opinion I don’t give two hoots about. But, still…certain friends can crush me with their appathy or lack of enthusiasm and encouragement.

What’s with that? How in the world can I possibly addicted to approval? I mean, I actually enjoy my solitude. I don’t mind being by myself at all. I am fiercely independent. I can eat alone in a restaurant and feel just fine about it. Although, I enjoy dining with friends as well. I talk to others easily. But, I let very, very few get inside my head. That’s because I have TRUST issues. My natural inclination is to sit by myself instead of to sit in a group of folks, typically, anyway. I don’t even know I’m doing it, by I probably make others think I don’t want to be near them because I quite naturally perch on a bench by myself instead of in the middle of a crowd. I don’t really like crowds.

Oh my gosh…how did I get down this rabbit trail?

I am a very close observer. I’ll swear up and down I don’t need anybody or any help. I’ve been known to push would be HELP away! I don’t wanna put anybody out! But, we all need a little help from our friends. And it is a mark of maturity to finally get to a place where you realize that about yourself. We all need our peeps!

I analyze EVERYTHING. For me, there is no such thing as over-analizing. I can tell you four possible outcomes for any given scenario at a moment’s notice. Regarding analyzing things…here’s a “for instance”: Email distribution lists? I hide mine if I’m sending to more than one person, I put all the people in the blind copy line. Why? Because I MYSELF CAREFULLY look to see where my name falls on that list when people send something to me. And I catch myself having my feelings hurt if I’m so far down on the list that I look like an afterthought. And, I know that’s petty. But, I confess! I look for that! And, therefore, to protect the feelings of the people I love…I blind copy my emails so that no one will see where they RATE on my distribution list! So, see! Maybe I’m growing in mercy afterall! I’ll bet I’m a 1.5 on the mercy-meter now! Alert the presses! In my own way, I may actually have a little mercy in me…somewhere.

May 13, 2009 at 2:40 pm 1 comment

hospital week update

Okay…here’s the Reader’s Digest version of this week we’ve just come most of the way through:

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May 23, 2008 at 9:22 am 3 comments

hear ye, hear ye:

Today I will pursuit the phenomenal task of levelling the vast laundry piles. This will take unimaginable fortitude, yea, fairest ladies and countrymen. No doubt, much coffee will be in order if I am to remain on my feet and continue in this seemingly insurmountable endeavor.

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January 1, 2008 at 11:28 am 1 comment

s’not funny

I’ve got a bit of a cold. I started coughing a little on Christmas Eve. I feel fine, I just have a very annoying cough. This morning I took a prescription cough suppressant left over from the infamous Malone flu week last year. It was a caplet as big as my thumb. So, surely I’ll stop barking and coughing soon! (more…)

December 28, 2007 at 9:35 am Leave a comment

confessions of a delinquent blogger

Man, have I been missing in action on this blog lately or what? Anymore, it seems like what inspires me to write is the desire to RANT. And, I’ve felt very much like not sharing angst. Okay, well, I did share some angst once, but after reading it a couple of times myself I decided it was a bit corrosive in nature. So, I deleted that post. For the thirty some odd of you who read it and watched it *POOF* disappear, (more…)

November 27, 2007 at 10:13 pm 2 comments

fall back

I am LOVING this weather, y’all. Give me the forty degree temps any time! I love it! It was forty five degrees on my ride in this morning! Wooooo-hoooo! Fall and winter are my favorite months. Mostly, though, I just hate the HOT weather seasons.

Now speaking of FALL–Don’t forget to fall back Saturday night before bed! Don’t wanna hear about anyone getting to church an hour early!

Red is so big for fall! I am looking for a good red lipstick for fall…MUST have WARM undertones…I can not pull off that blue red that most companies market.  If anybody knows of one that fits the bill, please advise. I’ve got red polish. Oh my word, I’ve got ten tons of polish.  I have a basket of polish that would rival the collection at your local Walgreens. I just need THE RIGHT color RED lipstick!! (more…)

November 2, 2007 at 2:25 pm 1 comment

spittle-choked and Charmin tail

Just dropped by to say hello. I haven’t written much lately. And, it’s nearly midnight now, so all I wanna do is hit the hay. But, anyhoo…

I am in mid coughing fit right now, all because I managed to get spittle-choked… (OH COME NOW…you’ve done it yourself. You just didn’t name it.)  (more…)

October 17, 2007 at 11:54 pm 2 comments

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