Posts filed under ‘office adventures’

office memo:

Last seen near the postage meter, the tape gun has been reported missing in action.

Any details regarding the sudden disappearance of the tape gun can be reported to corporate crime stoppers at 777-2XXX.
Or, you may simply respond to this email. =)

There is no need to assemble a neighborhood vigilante team at this time. However, you may want to locate your torches, and pitchforks in case of an actual emergency.

Stay tuned for details if such actions are deemed necessary.

Thanks everyone!

August 6, 2013 at 3:03 pm Leave a comment

greaaaaaaaaaat! JUST greaaaaat!

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood! Read this link to a local news story! The location featured in the crime reported just so happens to be right outside the gates of our office park!

January 12, 2009 at 4:29 pm 2 comments

office break room frige emanating odors

From: Tracey Malone
Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2008 9:08 AM
To:  All X COMPANY Associates
Subject: Oh no! Not again!

Our previous attempt to detox the frige by simply removing food that had been left in there for months was clearly a bust.   Every time the door is opened, the lingering scent signals our FAILURE.  Now ** TONIGHT** further more drastic measures will be taken. 

Please understand, I’m not gonna be the one to do this dastardly deed this time.  (This is because I do not have the correct protective gear for such hazardous job.) So, don’t call me and don’t come to the reception area to voice your complaints about having to carry your mustard and ketchup bottles to the house overnight.  = )  (more…)

September 4, 2008 at 10:15 am 3 comments

funky frige

Hi all! Just wanted to share with you all the email I just sent out to all the associates here at X Company where I work.  (more…)

April 3, 2008 at 12:50 pm 1 comment

wisdom for those still wet behind the ears

Had to share this with y’all.
Before I left for home yesterday
 I sent this email out to everyone in our mostly male office.
We’ve got so many young marrieds up in here.  Soooo may 20somethins!
 I just took this opportunity to share some 40 year old woman wisdom with these boys who are still learning how to decipher what their young wife SAYS
 verses what their wife really means.
You’ve gotta read this email! 
 I know FOR A FACT that a few more wives got flowers last night
 as a direct result of my effort!
 I think I may have stumbled upon
 a whole new ministry!  (more…)

February 15, 2008 at 3:30 pm Leave a comment

skippin’ school, wavin’ bye, and a year round tree

I wouldn’t go back and be a high school kid again for anything. Ughhhh! If there were a way my oldest child to skip it all together and get on with the rest of her life, I’d agree to it.  I hated high school. HATED IT! The juvenile behavior of most teenagers is just more than anyone ought to have to endure. All I wanted was outa there! I mean, it’s just the pits as far as social situations go. People don’t have good sense, and SOOO MANY lack morals.  (Not that THAT PART changes that dramatically when we become adults. Except that sometimes morally deficient adults are occasionally concerned enough about their reputations to at least attempt to conceal their lack of scruples.)  But, I’ll just say this:  There are definitely some girls whose mother I’d LOVE to take a long lunch with in order reveal to them some real eye-opening facts about their daughters. Well, I mean, I’d love to do that, if I could like DISAPPEAR forever immediately after said theoretical luncheon. Heck, I could provide some insight on a whole bunch of this town’s sons, too, for that matter. But, I guess I’ll just have to leave those revelations to someone else, (lest I should accientally mar my witness.)


January 2, 2008 at 5:54 pm 1 comment

feeding frenzy

Guess what I’ve eaten today?

A six inch high slice of homemade red velvet cake with homemade cream cheese frosting, that’s what!  And… (more…)

December 17, 2007 at 1:05 pm 2 comments

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