Posts filed under ‘the daily grind’

locked out

Well, I enjoyed an incredible start to my day at Malone Manor, this fine morning. While outside trying to convince The Doctor (our older daughter’s long-haired Dachshund puppy) to “go outside”, I manage to lock MYSELF out of my house, and without my cell phone.  Jessye is at work. Terry is asleep. Maggie is upstairs getting ready for school. And, I am outside knocking at the back door. Knocking and calling, “Hello? Maggieeeeee? It’s Mama! I’m locked ouuuut. Maggiee?” (Mind you, it’s 6:35am. I don’t want to wake the neighbors.  So, there wasn’t a lot of torque behind my calls for help.) What to do? What to do?

I stealthily walk out the back gate into the front yard, leaving Mother Maybelle (our Yorkshire Terrier) and The Doctor secured in the back. Doorbell is broken, so I knock on the front door awhile. I knock some more. No dice. Maybe my truck was unlocked? It BETTER NOT BE. I hope it is…then, I can use the garage door opener. Nope. Locked.

So, I go around to the side yard and throw a piece of hardwood mulch at Maggie’s window. Again, and again I pinged her window with that chunk of wood. Did she come to the window? Why, noooo.  So, I go to my own bedroom window and tried the same routine. Nope.

Back around to the backyard I stomp. Knocking. Calling. I am sure all the neighbors hear me and are cussing me. I half-expect someone to come out, in their pajamas, and offer to call someone inside my house for me.

Birds are starting to get agitated due to my presence and all the knocking and pecking I’m doing. All the birds in the neighborhood are now encroaching upon my backyard. A murder of crows squawks angrily at me. A redbird couple sits on the fence. They mock me, and cock their heads to the side as they consider my plight.  I am starting to think about that dang Alfred Hitchcock movie, “The Birds”. I grow more irritated, and a liiiiiittle bit freaked out. Birds squawk louder. I turn and yell at them. “Oh yeah? COME AT ME!”  I quickly hush, as I suddenly realize I am talking to birds.

I return to knocking. I am tapping S-O-S on the door now. Maybe some military veteran will hear the code, recognize my distress call, and come rescue me.

Door opens. It’s Maggie. She has a look of total shock and fear on her face. “Maaaaaama! You were locked out all this time? Ohhhh I am sooooo sorry!!!!”

I am sweaty. It is 7am, now. I am BY NO MEANS ready for work.
Glad I decided to don jeans before going in the backyard, or this story would have been waaaaay worse.

May 16, 2018 at 2:58 pm Leave a comment

monster trucks

Sometimes the monster trucks

we, daily, endure in traffic

seem to believe they have

no need for road manners.

Roaring down the highway they go,

spewing smog from their exhaust pipes!

“Everyone look! Listen!” they beckon. “See how big and powerful I am?”

Glaring and daring everyone who should impede their pompous progress are they!

“Everyone look! Listen!” they beckon. “See how big and powerful I am?”

Set in their selfish goal to be seen

as a conquering force are they!

“Everyone look! Listen!” they beckon.“See how big and powerful I am?”

Belittling all others, they are

intent on bulldozing the world

in endless attempts to bolster their ego.

“Everyone look! Listen!” they beckon.“See how big and powerful I am?

When we find ourselves,

daily, dealing with a nasty commute like that,

perhaps the best thing to do

is seek a change in your route?

Maybe, somewhere you’ll discover

a narrow, dirt road

where monster trucks

simply aren’t accepted.

March 20, 2018 at 6:48 pm Leave a comment

better than the prize in the crackerjacks

This morning on my way to work, the man begging on my interstate off ramp had the greatest sign ever. It read: “Too ugly to prostitute. Too honest to steal.” I waved and laughed. He came over and talked with me while I waited for the light to change. I told him that sign was completely amazing. He then told me how beautiful I am, how shiny my hair is, how perfect my skin is, and how gorgeous my green eyes are. And, I laughed harder. (I am sick. The whites of my eyes are pink from coughing my head off this week.) He said, “You don’t know you’re beautiful?” I said, “No. But, You made my day. I wish I had cash to hand you. Your charm will carry you far in this line of work!” And he said, “As beautiful as you are, I would wash your car for free. You are gorgeous. You are better than the prize in the Crackerjacks!” I thanked him, the light changed, and he told me to have a blessed day, and I told him the same.                                                            Since then, I have been thinking about the ‘better than the prize in the Crackerjacks” line. Now, what would that mean? Much anticipated, but cheap & disappointing? I think I’d rather be the Crackerjacks, instead of the prize. (But, I’m gonna assume he meant it as a compliment, anyhoo.)

October 28, 2016 at 11:26 am Leave a comment

ode to a great bordeaux, 1991

This morning, as I was “compacting” a package with my foot, I found myself grinning and thinking about our first little Yorkie that Terry Malone and I “rescued” within five months of  our wedding date.  His name was Boredeaux.  We got him  from the Bordeaux, TN Sanitary Landfill  & Dog Pound.  We camped out all night for that little rascal. Found him on a Thursday afternoon at the pound, and his parole date wasn’t until Saturday morning.  So, I told Terry, “We are gonna be sitting outside the locked main gate at 2am”.  Terry thought I was nuts. (I won’t argue that point; t’would be futile.) But, I will say we were there at 2am. And,  at 2:05am that evening, the next car pulled up.  An elderly man who’d “driven allllll the way from Kentucky” had arrived five minutes too late for the same dog.  My thoughts? “Cry me a river, PawPaw.  That Yorkie is MINE.”

A while later, another car pulled up behind us.  A woman waddled up to my window, which I rolled down an eighth of an inch.

“I don’t SUPPOSE you’d HAPPEN to be here for the Yorkie, would you?”

“Yes ma’am.  Been here since 2am,” I replied.

“Uhhhhhh huh!” she said, and waddled away.

Minutes later I saw that gal and her husband go flying across the field of grass between the hospital and the dog pound.

Okay. You can see this is gonna get ugly, right? Lemme sum it up. 6am, the official legal front gate opened to the public.  We drove back there and waited at the gate to the dog pound beside the hooligans in the pick up truck.  The poor fella who had to open the dog pound that morning pulled up. Got out. Opened the lock on the gate. And we raced  to that dog pound door.  Terry said, you better jump out if you want your dog.  So, I did. It’s a wonder I didn’t break my ankle as I foot raced that bitch to the front porch. (I won.)

The dog pound employee on duty got out of his car, seeing right away that there was gonna be trouble. He said, “Ladies, what seems to be the trouble?”

I responded, “Trouble? No trouble. My husband and I arrived at 2am and waited outside the legal gate of this establishment. We are here for the Yorkie pup.  I told the security guard my name. He wrote it down. I told him we were here specifically for the Yorkie pup at the pound. He wrote that down, too.   Now, these folks came up hours later, she asked me if I was here for that Yorkie.  And when I said yes, they decided to drive off through the field, taking an illegal short cut to this second gate. If you’d like to know who was here first, simply consult the guard.  He has my name and what time I arrived.”

The dog pound employee said to the other woman, “Ma’am, is that true?”

And she had the gall to say, “Well, I don’t know about that!”

So, I refreshed her memory with a calm voice and a polite smile, “Well, of course you do know about that. Furthermore you weren’t even SECOND in line. You were third!”

Did I mention this was really a bad redneck saga? Yes. My worst to this date.

So, the dog pound employee says, “Well, I tell ya what, neither of you can have that dog.”

And I smiled, and said, “Are you the MANAGER?”

He said, “No ma’am, he’s off today.”  Heh. I guess he thought I was gonna be satisfied with that?

I  said, “Sir, get your manager on the horn. I’ve been here all night. I followed the rules; she trespassed on private property. And, I am NOT leaving without my dog.”

So, he called the man in charge. The manager sided with the one of us who was outside the legal gate first. And, he chastised the other woman for trespassing. Ha! Whaddaya know! Sometimes justice is served.  Good grief!

Okay, now you have the back story. But, now, back to why I was grinning this morning:

Bordeaux LOVED it when we crushed any kind of packaging before putting it in the trash.  He would get soooo excited!  So revved up! He’d growl and carry on, pulling and tugging at whatever we were stomping flat to make room in the garbage bag.  It was totally “PACK MENTALITY” for him.  Clearly, as far as Bordeaux was concerned, flattening an empty gallon milk jug was, in his canine mind, akin to us out killing livestock together like a pack of wild dogs!

#adogslife #allterriersareBADasses





April 13, 2016 at 4:32 pm Leave a comment

dear people who have been hurt in the church:

Dear people who have been hurt in the church:

We have something in common! I have only attended church sporadically since we left Mississippi, myself. We, too, were hurt at a church, as some of you may be aware.

Why do we expect church people to be better than anybody else, though? We are all just flawed human beings. And all of us HURT about something. Sadly, sometimes people who are hurting inside themselves, very often take out their hurt on other people. I’m quite sure I’ve been guilty of that, even at home. I’ll be in a bad mood because of something that happened during the work day, and come home really upset, and feeling angry when I’m with my family. And, of course, that’s not fair to them.

But, it’s like my husband has always jokingly told our kids when they say something is not fair. He’ll say, “FAIR? A fair is a place for pigs and horses. Life is not fair.” (Cute, huh?) But it’s so true! Life is not fair.

Bad things happen to us all. Sometimes those bad things can’t ever be fixed. And it’s not fair! But, God is still God. He is still on His throne. I try to look at it this way: I do not deserve to be declared righteous because of the blood of Jesus Christ. But, because of His sacrifice, I am declared righteous in the eyes of God Almighty. ME! Righteous? Not because of a thing I’ve done, that’s for sure! Because I am definitely FLAWED. I have made wrong choices in my life. I’m sure I have hurt people in my anger over having been hurt. I definitely do not deserve to be set apart as God’s child. I’m too selfish! I sometimes think of myself before others. I get ticked off because people have the nerve to be hateful to me! I am guilty. And I do not want justice! God has declared me righteous because of the blood poured out by Christ for my sins. So, let me just say: I don’t want what’s fair. No sinner does. We want God’s mercy. And we should also extend God’s love and mercy to others. Even the ones that hurt us. ESPECIALLY to those folks!

How can we keep people we really like from turning on us? We can’t. Where can we go that people will not hurt us? No where! Not to the grocery store! Not to the post-office! And, NO! Not even to the church. Because we are ALL imperfect. Even God’s people are imperfect. I know for sure, because I’m “God’s people”.

But a much better question is: To whom can I show the love of God? Who else has been wounded in the house of the Lord? We are definitely not alone. Who else is going to a church and may need to feel comfort and love from someone else? I don’t know. But, I know for a fact that they’re out there, and I can find some of those! Who else at church may need an understanding soul to lean on? They’re out there! And, you and I have the perfect ministry within us to help. (Now, we don’t have to start any new ministry…And, I surely don’t feel like starting anything new at this today!) But, we can just quietly, purposefully attend a worship service, and reach out to people in Christian love. Even if it’s just with a smile, or a welcoming ‘Hello!” We can be part of the reason someone who comes to church for the first time wants to come back. Or we can be part of the reason someone who has been hurt by church folks learns to love the house of the Lord once more. We can make a difference for one hurting person. I can. And, YOU can, too.

When we abstain from church fellowship, we are only hurting ourselves. And, after all, the people who hurt us in a church? They’re not sitting around thinking about how they did us wrong. They’re not thinking of us at all!

I listen to Christian pastors on the radio most every day. I need that time! But, we really need to get up Sunday morning, and go to the house of the Lord. I’m going this Sunday. And I haven’t been in a long time. We need to hear God’s word. We need to fellowship with other believers. We need to be a part of working for the good of God’s Kingdom. And we need to reach out to others at church who need a loving, Christian friend.

I just want to encourage you as I encourage myself! You have so much love with which to reach out to others at a church. Yes, there will be people everywhere we go who can potentially hurt us. Put on your full ARMOR of God, and get to church, soldier! There are lots of people there who need you! And me! We can be the reason someone like us suddenly finds a church they love again after having been hurt in a church. And you will be so blessed by doing for others. You’ll see!

I’m going to church on Sunday. You go, too!

July 8, 2015 at 12:51 pm Leave a comment

enough is enough

Okay, this is it. Enough is enough! I have had all I can stand and I can’t stand n’more. I have GOT to lose this weight. Getting dressed in the morning is just torturous. When it comes to getting dressed, I am in full on camouflage mode. It’s no longer, “What top can I wear with this color pants?” Nooooo. Now it’s, “What can I wear that will cover my tail-end?” And my tail-end definitely needs to be covered. I’ve got to quit talking about it and doing nothing about it. (Or, talking about it, then dieting for ten days and stopping when I haven’t lost it fast enough to suit me.) I’m not very patient with me. And I’m very tough on myself about these things. Plus, dieting just makes me. Well. It just makes me MAD as a hornet. I DESPISE dieting. I despise dieting, and I LOVE Lays potato chips. THIS is a bad combination.

But it’s October. And I like cooler weather soOoOoo much better! Surely that will help me be more willing to get outside and walk. And, I like that it’s two months ‘til Thanksgiving. And three months til Christmas. And it’s just, what? Nine weeks til the start of a brand new year. I’d like to ring 2014 in as a DRAMATICALLY smaller woman. So let it be written; so let it be done!

October 1, 2013 at 3:00 pm Leave a comment

a net

Last year my now fourth grader listened intently as one of her classmates’ mother was reading to the class. Apparently she was reading from a joke book, right? So, the volunteer-reader-mom lady says to the class, “What do you call a girl who is really good at fishing?”

Maggie, who is ever-eager to have the right answer FIRST belts out: ” A HOOKER!”

Peals of laughter errupted, interspersed with an occasional, “Woooo! Maaaagieeeeeee!” from her peers. Maggie’s friend said, “Maggie! You said a bad word!”

To which Maggie replied, “I DID NOT say a bad WORD! It’s a bad thing. But that’s NOT a bad word!”

That afternoon after school, Maggie recounted the entire experience to me with many giggles over her accidentally innappropriate outburst. Then she said, “The ACTUAL answer to the joke was “Annette”. (a- NET). Get it? I think my answer was much funnier!”

…Admittedly, I do, too!

September 26, 2012 at 12:16 pm Leave a comment

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